He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Someone signed my nipple.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
