he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
