I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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