Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
