I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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