I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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