i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Randomize
