I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
NoShamevember. You game?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
