God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
