I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
