My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
