There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
