i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
