I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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