Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
