I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
