all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
