I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Drunk is a universal language darling
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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