whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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