is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
