Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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