Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
