so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
