I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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