FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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