dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
