never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
