He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
