You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Ladies don't puke and tell
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
