there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
