is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
