we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Randomize
