This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
