You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
