An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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