All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
