she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
