You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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