my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I need to sanitize my soul.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
