Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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