Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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