Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
