Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
So many bounce houses so little time
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
