the new term for farting is butt boxing.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I intend to get homeless drunk
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Randomize
