You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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