Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
