Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I will pee on everything he values.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
