Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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