You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
