I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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